Tom Cruise Movies Universe

There's so much said about how wonderful is Marvel or Star Wars universe. All of you argue and claim there's a beauty on the way they connect every line and every story in something as hard as movies, with all this production companies issues with management, budget and cast aging. But how many movies did they release? 6? 12? Bah. Rookies...

What if I tell you there's an universe composed by 38 movies so far? Yeah! That's right. Before all of this prequels, sequels and reboots fever, it was and elaborated line about a guy whose descendants went to different wars and he comes form an insecure teen to an army lawyer and finally saved the world against aliens to be cloned by those same aliens. An epic story about a boy during centuries, better told than Highlander and more passionate than Gone with the wind. This is Tom Cruise story.

Imagine a story about a boy whose grandfather, Claus von Stauffenberg, was a former nazi who almost betrayed Hitler during WWII. After he died, Tom (let's just call him Tom as we don't have a name) was given in adoption to a man (who already had adopted a boy with autism), and ended losing his legs in Vietnam and becoming nuts. This boy had a second adoption and he got a rich and healthy family with a beautiful and expensive egg glass. 

Poor Tom lost his virginity with a prostitute at the same time he was in the middle of period when he started to doubt about studying law. This led him for the first time to the army, and Tom became a pilot as his first job. But that didn't go well, and he finally quit and tried little jobs as waiter or billiard player. During this period he often dreamed about adventure, a lady and a devil portrayed by Tim Curry. Being taught by Paul Newman happened to be such a huge traumatizing experience that he turned into law school. Everything was great for our boy, but firms are not as quiet as it seems and Tom decided to continue his career in the army.

However, problems didn't finish there. An incident with and officer during trial forced him to use his reputation to become and efficient and passionate sport manager. Help me help you. Tom succeeded. He became a great manager. But, unfortunately, that was a very particular skill for the US army to use in an upcoming war again aliens. Knowing that Tom had served his country twice before, he was the perfect man to lead a media campaign to recruit citizens for this war against an army of aliens with the ability of time controlling. Tom happened to result crucial at the end of the war, but enemies were able to access Tom's DNA an they created clones of him after they finally won he war, in order to repair their own control machines. One of these clones took conscience of his own life and blew up the main machine and himself, saving the world.

World was reconstructed and year by year all of Tom's clones died by natural causes. But there was a last adventure for our Tom. One of his grandfathers changed his side from the USA to join and lead a samurai clan. This man was bitten by a vampire after he died in battle and changed his name into Lestat. After the war against the machines, and once the entire world is reconstructed, Lestat was the only one Tom alive and he decided to dedicate his live to the service of the law, as well as our Tom did, so he joined precrime. Once he was in service, searched into police historical files and discovered that his relative, Tom, as well as we worked as an attorney, he also served to a force called IMF once in a wild, as a freelance. He also discovered that, precisely, the succeed of these missions was the main reason why US Government decided to send Tom directly to the field during the war against aliens.

This is the real story about Tom. Remember that this is just a theory. But, what if it isn't? What if Tom Cruise has been kidding with us all of the time and this was a plan already thought back in the 80's? No. Definitely not.

Top 5 Most Overrated Movies

Most of youtube channels or blogs use to make these kind of lists about best movies and most underrated ones. It's easy because there are tons of people just going around social networks prepare to defend their favorite films, and this assertion comes like a gift. And, on the other hand, we have fans of movies so badly rated they put huge effort on convincing everyone else justice has to be made. No dice.

But, what about overrated movies? This is somethig tricky. What do the most of the blogs and youtube channels when they're about to make an overrated movies top list? They pick most prizewinning movies that all of the people use to complain, and that's all. It's much easier just putting followers against the academy, right? However, are we users right indeed? Is actually consensus equal to truth? Definitely not. There's totally something going on with some movies which their sensationalism, pretentious or plot twists really may lift them up to a place they dont't belong. I know this is going to hurt so much, and it's gonna make all of you hate us but, here is our real top5 overrated movies (WATCH OUT, SPOILERS AHEAD):

5. The Sixth Sense

Yes. The best considered M. Night Shyamalan movie is one of the most overrated movies ever. Why? Because of the twist, precisely. All of the movie is based upon the mystery. It's just an horror movie, well shot and decently acted. The only drama that supposely raise it up to the category of great movie it's just a convinient fake trick. Why do the rest of ghosts look like dead (fresh wounds, puking...) and Bruce Willis not only doesn't realise of his wound, he even change clothes several times and, seriously, how the hell does he set a meeting with the child in the first place? Do you expect me to believe that a ghost could have 'accepting his death' as a purpose? Could any of you guys be able to live for weeks with your wife without crossing a word? Not even a 'who was at the phone?' or 'do you want me to prepare dinner?' COME ON! You even met up with her at the restaurant! Worst twist ever. So, it's not bad movie, we just consider it as a fine horror movie.



4. The Spectacular Now
This is probably the lesser-known movie of this list, but a 93% in Rotten Tomatoes make this an obligatory example. Lately, the increasement of blockbusters has, somehow, ended in more and more independent hits. Directors like Jason Reitman, Jonathan Levine or Marc Webb have come from indie field to the most commercial productions just because of this. And, in this particular case, Webb is one of the producers. Let's make it simple, The Spectacular Now is a disease. A disease particularly created from these hits. This movie is nothing but a attempt to transform the most conventional scripts ever made into something fresh and trascendent just by putting on an instagram filter over it, trendy indie cast and somebody with dinking issues. It's something pretty similar to the case of Short Term 12, but in that, Brie Larson totally saves the day.




3. A Beatiful Mind

Seriously, I've got to say this: I really do like the twist in this movie. I do. It's not actually smart but at least is early. The main issue with this film is that, what's told in it, could have been said in one minute. Just a minute of a guy (I'd rather have a biographer) sitting in front you saying: here's the story of John Nash, smart guy, mathematician, who made up friends and that almost cost him his sanity ad his marriage. And that's all. The second half of this movie is one of the most boring things I've ever seen. It's just a encore of the first half, but now you're sure he's crazy. Precursor of a whole generation of a-holes writing their math problems on the window. Just for that, it deserves to be the first one in our list, but let's move forward.




2. Intouchables

What the hell happened with this movie?! Seriously. The corny story of paralized man who's affraid of facing life and gets encouraged by an stereotyped joker. How many times we've seen this? A hundred? Thousands? I don't know. Has this movie better shots? Has this movie better jokes? Is this fresh or original? Really, there's nothing here but the same old cheesy overcoming story. I'm amazed by how many people can still laugh about the 'My-Fair-Lady-situation'. There's even a 'enjoying-life' montage with Nina Simone's 'Feeling Good'. 8,6 on IMDB. Guys...I mean, both actors make a good performance...but...are you serious?


Honorable Mentions
Although they're not bad enough to be on this list, or simply they're not as good considered and rated as the other 5, there're two movies that has to be mention, at least. There's an issue with the 'He's been dead all of the time' or 'He's making everything up' plot twist that obligates the script writer to be so carefull about the transition to that. Shutter Island just doesn't achieve this mission. Even being adapted from a Dennis Lehane novel, which is often translated into good movies. But in this particular case, it remains the feeling of being too easy just saying that he's completely nuts in a matter of seconds, using a blackboard as we, the audience, were supposed to be shocked by that fact, but the truth is we all have been considering it for the hall of the movie, but we refused to believed the writer was so lazy.

The other mention goes to Hatchiko. A movie just based in making dog-owners cry by the impossible chance that you're dog gives a shit about you. Yes, I recognize I cried like a baby, but that doesn't make the movie good at all. Because of they manipulate you, it doesn't mean what they're telling you is actually something powerful. Think about A Serbian Film. Just because you feel sick of seeing a fat guy raping a newborn doesn't mean the film is doing a great job. I could record myself killing your mother and that's not gonna make a good horror movie. No. Hatchiko is definitely a piece of shit.




1. Fight Club
That's it. Fight Club is one of those kind of movies ruined by their endings. But in this particular case, it's not just the ending. From the moment we realise Edward Norton is actually Tyler Durden, movie starts to fall apart and it doesn't stop. Firstly, we all got it from the moment Bonham Carter's character say his name is Tyler Durden. We're not stupid, we don't need a 9 minutes exposition. Seriously, the revelation montage, the voice-over, the whole travelling moment to the diferent Fight Club franchises is ridiculous, is for real dummies. No one is so stupid to need all of that explanation. Besides that, garage scene is horrible. What a way of destroying the movie! Is this something meta? Is Fincher trying to make an example out of the movie? Is it all about making a great movie and blasting it as an anarchy symbolism? For the record, according to David Fincher, if you shoot yourself in your ganglia, you don't die AND all of your multiple personalities die inmediately. Deal with it psychologists!